So I want to try and get fired

[Laughing Turd]

Basically I want to see if I can get canned by next Friday the 15th. I can obviously do this rather easily but I want to be subtle about it and that's why I need help. Generally I would just openly tell someone to go out and literally fuck themselves with a branch and yell all kinds of obscene language at them, you know, because I'm generally an asshole myself. But I don't wanna do that.

How can I rub someone's nerve in a more crafty manner over the course of five days or so resulting in me getting shit-canned.

[Permanent Poopface]

Is it to collect unemployment?

[June]

Stage a fall at work in which you hit your head. Start speaking only in Spanish (and act as tho you no longer understand English).

[Red]

Stage a fall at work in which you hit your head. Start speaking only in Spanish (and act as tho you no longer understand English).

Lmao brilliant

Just be on ur phone all day and do everything really half ass. At like 2 call in a pizza when they come in be like ya its for me and eat it all without sharing. Always be eating when ur in a meeting eat some frosted flakes in a bowl and spoon. Or replace the phone with a game boy advance and play pokemon yellow all day with the volume really high. Or just wear a make america great trump t shirt. **** just do all of those bruh

[Laughing Turd]

Naw, unemployment checks are for people in tough spots. I'm just trying to be an **** and have some lulz.

I burn my bridges.

[Laughing Turd]

Also good suggestions so far. I need something along the lines of being a difficult employee, but not hing too obvious.

How can I underestimate someone's intelligence subtly.

[Kreater]

By saying, "oops, I accidentally left the cash register opened."

[Handass]

Jerk off into your boss' lunch. When he goes to open it start blowing kisses from the corner of the room.

[June]

Start writing all your words from right to left in orders. I had a student do that yesterday and I probably would have fired him if I could.

[BMan]

Not sure what you do, or what you have in your kit. 

If you have to deal with customers, refer to them by insulting Spanish names that only a few people may understand.  When coworkers talk to you about work, just glare at them.  Talk about sexual conquests in the break room.  Tell people you want to **** your boss' wife/girlfriend/partner.  Start doing things half-assed.  Or not at all.  Show up a few minutes late and leave a few minutes early and show that you don't care.  If there is an employee parking lot, take up 2 or 3 spaces. 

[Laughing Turd]

Good advice. So far I'm twenty minutes late and just barely got out of bed. I feel messed up about it but bosses car got towed. Gonna openly roast him but say we're still cool and I'm kidding around like guys do. He'll have to swallow his pride to look cool but he'll be pissed inside.

[CitizenSoldier3]

I'll just reference the movie office space. 

[Laughing Turd]

I was able to figure out that my boss doesn't like it when I try to recruit my current  coworkers for another project.

[June]

Sounds like you just got a bunch of side projects that you need help with.

[Red]

Keep it simple just drop a load on his desk ...... maybe put a lt toothpick flag in it