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Randomness contest bring it...

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Author Topic: Randomness contest bring it...  (Read 1391 times)
ironmaidenb1
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« Reply #30 on: November 17, 2009, 09:57:10 pm »

Once when I was little and we were taking a long family drive ( to abandon me in the woods ) I think it was to Ohio to see my Uncle and his family ( they were plotting my death as well), I was playing around and did something that I shouldn't have ( hung my arse out the window and shot a duece log at the car behind us).  I had a box of Tic-Tacs ( or was it illegal Cuban Cigars ) the white ones, ( **** flavored ) Spearment I believe, and got really bored so I decided to shove one ( in my Dads eye while he was driving, temporarily blinding him and causing us to veer into a tanker truck) in my right nostril.  I must have had pretty skinny fingers ( that's because I spent 22 hrs a day locked in a birdcage forced to knit sweaters out of navel lint for the family rats ) because I shoved that thing pretty deep up there and had a bear of a time ( like the time I wrastled a 13 foot tall Grizzly at the Worlds Fair in Chicago for 5 cents a  minute ) getting it out.  Damn did that burn ( like the lotion that got in my eye when Buffalo Bill threw the bottle down to me when I was in his basement trapped in the well while he said , " It puts the lotion on the skin ") pretty bad.  Luckily, I managed to dig that sucker out ( like when they put me in that shallow grave after bashing me in the head with the shovel ) before having to go to the Hospital ( or Veternarian ).  The moral ( moron ) of this story is Don't ever stick a Tic-Tac up your nose ( or anything in yer pee-hole ).
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