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Staying friends with jerks on the internet (advice?)

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Author Topic: Staying friends with jerks on the internet (advice?)  (Read 216 times)
Squire Grooktook
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« on: April 26, 2013, 07:01:50 pm »

Ok, so right now I'm debating whether I should cut the tie with someone I've known for a few years who has, through his actions and words, basically told me that he's the most selfish, immature, irritable, and inconsiderate person I know. I don't know if I should pity him, I don't know if he has some kind of excuse like being abused/not hugged as a baby/having autism/having brain damage/having been raised poorly/being a sociopath, but whatever it is, it's clear that the truth is that he doesn't give a **** about me or my feelings in the slightest bit.

So, what would you do?

On one hand I feel a bit guilty for blocking him. I feel like he'll be a basement dweller for the rest of his life with no friends on the internet or off, and that it's no skin off my nose to just leave him be in case he ever wants to chat or play games a bit.

On the other hand, I feel like I'd be essentially procrastinating by hanging out with him, spending time with someone I don't respect, and who doesn't seem to care about me (or anyone else for that matter). And furthermore, by staying friends with him, I'd essentially be enabling him to walk over me and everyone else at all times and still get what he wants (someone to male cattle dung to). And not to mention, I'd also be deceiving him by giving him the impression that I respect or like him in anyway anymore.

I'm kinda conflicted here.

Also for the record, I'm not just mad and venting. I've known this guy for a while and have had suspicions about what kind of person he is for a long time. But last night he pretty much confirmed it for me.
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the KR3AT3R
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« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2013, 07:55:41 pm »

I've been in a similar situation.

Just sever ties man and don't lose a wink of sleep over it cause nobody is worth making you feel negative.  It'll just drag you down to their level eventually.
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« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2013, 07:59:38 pm »

Just drop him. If he doesn't care about what you think then he won't care that you're gone. What did he do for you to make this tough decision?
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« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2013, 08:15:06 pm »

Break up with him. He sounds like a 1, and you're at least a 5  Afro
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Squire Grooktook
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« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2013, 08:28:01 pm »

Just drop him. If he doesn't care about what you think then he won't care that you're gone. What did he do for you to make this tough decision?
Basically I asked him to do something incredibly insignificant for me (upvote a game on Steam, which takes like 2 seconds) and he refused. I asked again (nicely, and in my usual somewhat silly demeanor) and he got super mad and told me I was being a "****ing prick" and that he would block me if I kept on asking. Naturally I didn't take this seriously and kept asking, to which he got madder and madder. Finally I was starting to understand that he was legitimately mad, and asked him why it was such a big deal to do one little thing as a favor to a friend. He told me that he "might have considered it" but he was going to never ever consider it in order to spite me for annoying him.

I asked him why he would be so spiteful, and he responded that he was proud of it

"I'm violent and spiteful. It's who I am, and I'll never change."
"But you should never just settle for something you don't like about yourself."
"But I LIKE being this way."

Now, after the first time I really didn't give a **** about the game anymore. I just wanted him to do this for me because I had been incredibly nice to him for 2 years straight after he had been nothing but annoying and inconsiderate (wasting my time, complaining about stuff I don't care about, raging about my friends and favorite games and saying how people he didn't like should be skinned alive. I tried to be compassionate and reasonable though the whole thing) and now after all that, he couldn't even do one damn thing for me. I talked to him and told him this and that I just wanted him to do it at this point as a favor to show he cared. But he still adamantly refused and ranted further.

Finally I figured I'd **** (why is g-a-m-b-l-e censored here?) it


"Okay, I tell you what. I'll ask one more time, and then I promise I'll never ask again. Please, please, do this for me, as a favor. As a sign of friendship. Please?"

"The answer is still no"

Almost immediately, he then started talking about other games and memes and conversing as if nothing had happened. The sheer coldness of how he could switch topics after that astounded me to be honest.




Now of course this isn't the only thing that has lead me to believe he's an poop machine. For the 2 years I've known him, he has shown himself to be hateful, intolerant, ignorant, prideful, irritable, inconsiderate (HE EVEN SAYS SO ON HIS PROFILE. PROUDLY), and selfish. None of this is in an ironic or trolling way either, he's really just THAT antisocial towards everyone. Heck, he has more people blocked and has been blocked by more people then he actually is acquainted with. Only reason I stuck with him was because I thought that beneath it all, he wasn't a bad guy, and that maybe he really did like me. But now I think he just doesn't give a **** about anyone.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2013, 08:38:09 pm by Squire Grooktook » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #5 on: April 26, 2013, 08:58:45 pm »

Doesn't sound like a beneficial relationship.

I may not be the best person to give advice on this topic, but my view is that friendships are only worthwhile so long as they benefit both people relatively equally.  If things go south for an extended length of time, it's no longer worth it.

Then again, this isn't something I feel like any of us can answer for you in good faith.  From what you've told us the issue seems cut-and-dry to us all, but that probably isn't the case else you likely wouldn't be asking for our input.  Which may mean you still think it might be worth it.  But all that's conjecture.

You've probably spent time mulling it over before you posted this, so my advice would just be to sleep on it and see what you feel in the morning.

Hope it turns out well for you.
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« Reply #6 on: April 26, 2013, 09:17:27 pm »

Doesn't sound like a beneficial relationship.

I may not be the best person to give advice on this topic, but my view is that friendships are only worthwhile so long as they benefit both people relatively equally.  If things go south for an extended length of time, it's no longer worth it.

Then again, this isn't something I feel like any of us can answer for you in good faith.  From what you've told us the issue seems cut-and-dry to us all, but that probably isn't the case else you likely wouldn't be asking for our input.  Which may mean you still think it might be worth it.  But all that's conjecture.

You've probably spent time mulling it over before you posted this, so my advice would just be to sleep on it and see what you feel in the morning.

Hope it turns out well for you.

Thank you.

To be honest, the only reason I'd consider letting him off the hook is out of charity. Like I said, I don't know if maybe the guy has something really wrong with him in his head, or maybe he's going through problems IRL. I don't know if maybe I've been the only damn person to be nice to him on the internet in 2 years, though I wouldn't be surprised given his personality and apparent history.

But the more I think about it, the more I think the idea of trying to do good deeds on the internet is insane. I could just as easily be enabling him or encouraging him to be a ****ing basement dweller. So speculating on the ramifications of my actions at this point seems somewhat pointless, as it could go either way.

This isn't the first time this has happened. I remember a while back he was ranting about how one of my favorite games was complete **** and how the developers deserved to die a slow death. I tried to reasonably present a counter argument (though I couldn't help but sneak some sarcasm in there). He asked me why I was being such a "****ing poop machine" and started threatening to block me, and I remember thinking to myself "**** YES PLEASE BLOCK ME SO I CAN FINALLY BE ****ING FREE OF YOUR DAMN BULL****"

He's already blocked some of my friends lol.

I think I'm pretty deadset on ending this though. To be honest, I'm getting tired of being friends with crazy people. I'll keep being nice to them if I can, but I'm not going to be friends with someone like that anymore. Recently, I remembered an old friend on Youtube who I used to be pals with, before he one day flew into a rage, called me a bunch of names in a pm, then blocked me (STILL have no idea what I said or did that made him do this). That was years ago, and I tracked him down recently. And the first thing I saw when I checked his feed and comments on Youtube was pages.and pages.and pages of pure hatred towards countless other internet users.

No.

Do not want.

I don't need that.
« Last Edit: April 26, 2013, 09:45:29 pm by Squire Grooktook » Report Spam   Logged

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« Reply #7 on: April 26, 2013, 10:39:14 pm »

Sounds like a D-bag.  Undecided
I'd say forget about him, and move on.
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Squire Grooktook
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« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2013, 11:41:37 pm »

Squire Grooktook: You know, I always thought, one day you would get mad and block me.
Squire Grooktook: However, I have decided to defy that fate and turn it on its head!
Squire Grooktook: For this day...I block YOU!
Alceris: You're joking, right?
Squire Grooktook: Sorry, man.
Squire Grooktook: But thinking about last night, I realized you must not care about me too much to refuse to do the smallest thing to make me happy, even when it's no skin off your nose.
Squire Grooktook: So, I think it's time we call it quits. I don't hold a grudge though, so if you ever change your mind and want to apologize for being so cold, lemme know on Youtube or something.
Alceris: I did care about you, but then you nagged me.
Squire Grooktook: In that case you must have scared so little as to be microsopic.
Squire Grooktook: microscopic
Squire Grooktook: yah there it is
Alceris: Give me one reason I should care about someone that just decides to, one day, be excessively annoying?
Squire Grooktook: I wasn't excessively annoying.
Squire Grooktook: I asked you nicely
Squire Grooktook: and asked you the next day jokingly.
Squire Grooktook: Friends tease eachother
Squire Grooktook: get over it.
Alceris: I don't like being teased.
Alceris: I hate it.
Squire Grooktook: Well then maybe you should be nicer.
Squire Grooktook: Anyway l don't care about the game. I didn't care after the first time you said no.
Alceris: "Jokes" at my expense are one of the biggest things that **** me off.
Squire Grooktook: At that point I wanted to see if you would be nice and do a favor for a friend.
Squire Grooktook: But nah, you couldn't do the smallest thing.
Squire Grooktook: I have friends who have gone out of their way to be nice to me, even when it inconvenienced themselves.
Squire Grooktook: You can't even hit a damn button.
Squire Grooktook: So my conclusion is
Squire Grooktook: You just don't care.
Alceris: Well, quite frankly, you're a douche.
Squire Grooktook: Says the guy is proud of being "violent and spiteful"
Squire Grooktook: I've only ever tried to be sympathetic to you
Squire Grooktook: Listen to you politely
Squire Grooktook: not mock you when you say dumb stuff.
Squire Grooktook: And after 2 years you can't do the slightest thing to be nice
Alceris: You're refusing to listen to me.
Squire Grooktook: Because what you're saying is garbage.
Squire Grooktook: Seriously man, you astounded me last night with how cold you were
Alceris: I don't do things that people nag at me about.
Squire Grooktook: When I practically begged you to do something for me as favor for a friend, and you just said "no."
Squire Grooktook: I don't want to be a friend with someone so cold and uncaring.
Squire Grooktook: sorry.
Squire Grooktook: Not without an apology.
Alceris: Well, I guess you weren't my friend in the first place.
Squire Grooktook: I guess you weren't mine.
Alceris is now Offline.
Squire Grooktook: Like I said, I always tried to nice to you.
Alceris is currently offline, they will receive your message the next time they log in.
Squire Grooktook: Oh, I see you already logged off.
Squire Grooktook: I mean blocked me.
Squire Grooktook: Ha.
Squire Grooktook: I'm...free.
Squire Grooktook: I'M FINALLY FREE
Squire Grooktook: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA H
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Autumn1194
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« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2013, 11:47:44 pm »

Good job squire! it's best not to stay in a sketchy friendship like that.
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Squire Grooktook
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« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2013, 12:25:15 am »

Wow, I can't believe it.

He ACTUALLY got on Youtube and apologized.

I think I'll unblock him, but he's still on hiatus.
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« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2013, 05:47:55 am »

Good job sticking up for yourself Squire. I understand why you might want to make it work, but I agree with how you did it (and I think Turbo suggested). It's good that you made sure he understood how he was treating you. Maybe that was the wake up call he needed, but if he does it again then I'd turf him....cause life is too short (I think kreater said that too)
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« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2013, 09:24:45 am »

I always go w/ Terms advice its normally right on- w/e u decide good luck w/ it and it shows u care that your debating what 2 do- Afro
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« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2013, 12:04:08 pm »

 What's your  astrological sign?

That dude is a douche.  I'd tell him to **** off. I'm a scorpio...no forgiveness EVER
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« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2013, 02:11:59 pm »

This would make for a really terrible Broadway show.
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