General Discussion / Entertainment => The All-Seeing Eye => Topic started by: Laughing Turd on April 06, 2016, 01:00:32 pm|
Title: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 06, 2016, 01:00:32 pm Basically I want to see if I can get canned by next Friday the 15th. I can obviously do this rather easily but I want to be subtle about it and that's why I need help. Generally I would just openly tell someone to go out and literally fuck themselves with a branch and yell all kinds of obscene language at them, you know, because I'm generally an asshole myself. But I don't wanna do that.
How can I rub someone's nerve in a more crafty manner over the course of five days or so resulting in me getting shit-canned. Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Permanent Poopface on April 06, 2016, 02:12:25 pm Is it to collect unemployment?
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: June on April 06, 2016, 05:39:29 pm Stage a fall at work in which you hit your head. Start speaking only in Spanish (and act as tho you no longer understand English).
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Red on April 06, 2016, 05:59:22 pm Stage a fall at work in which you hit your head. Start speaking only in Spanish (and act as tho you no longer understand English). Lmao brilliant Just be on ur phone all day and do everything really half ass. At like 2 call in a pizza when they come in be like ya its for me and eat it all without sharing. Always be eating when ur in a meeting eat some frosted flakes in a bowl and spoon. Or replace the phone with a game boy advance and play pokemon yellow all day with the volume really high. Or just wear a make america great trump t shirt. **** just do all of those bruh Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 06, 2016, 06:21:36 pm Naw, unemployment checks are for people in tough spots. I'm just trying to be an **** and have some lulz.
I burn my bridges. Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 06, 2016, 06:24:34 pm Also good suggestions so far. I need something along the lines of being a difficult employee, but not hing too obvious.
How can I underestimate someone's intelligence subtly. Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Kreater on April 06, 2016, 07:01:53 pm By saying, "oops, I accidentally left the cash register opened."
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Handass on April 06, 2016, 11:30:56 pm Jerk off into your boss' lunch. When he goes to open it start blowing kisses from the corner of the room.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: June on April 07, 2016, 05:23:43 am Start writing all your words from right to left in orders. I had a student do that yesterday and I probably would have fired him if I could.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: BMan on April 07, 2016, 07:03:40 am Not sure what you do, or what you have in your kit.
If you have to deal with customers, refer to them by insulting Spanish names that only a few people may understand. When coworkers talk to you about work, just glare at them. Talk about sexual conquests in the break room. Tell people you want to **** your boss' wife/girlfriend/partner. Start doing things half-assed. Or not at all. Show up a few minutes late and leave a few minutes early and show that you don't care. If there is an employee parking lot, take up 2 or 3 spaces. Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 07, 2016, 07:54:05 am Good advice. So far I'm twenty minutes late and just barely got out of bed. I feel messed up about it but bosses car got towed. Gonna openly roast him but say we're still cool and I'm kidding around like guys do. He'll have to swallow his pride to look cool but he'll be pissed inside.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: CitizenSoldier3 on April 07, 2016, 10:11:39 am I'll just reference the movie office space. O0
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 07, 2016, 11:18:08 pm I was able to figure out that my boss doesn't like it when I try to recruit my current coworkers for another project.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: June on April 08, 2016, 04:42:05 am Sounds like you just got a bunch of side projects that you need help with.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Red on April 08, 2016, 07:17:01 am Keep it simple just drop a load on his desk ...... maybe put a lt toothpick flag in it
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: BMan on April 08, 2016, 09:32:28 am Damn...If that's simple, I don't want to ever cross Red :o
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Handass on April 10, 2016, 11:36:23 am (http://i.imgur.com/IjuWRtT.jpg)
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Permanent Poopface on April 10, 2016, 01:24:32 pm Wtf lol
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: jd111 on April 11, 2016, 12:16:43 am Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 11, 2016, 08:43:27 am 45 minutes late today. I'm getting off completely. Don't think I'll get shitcanned unless I do something drastic like red said.
Oh well, good try Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Red on April 11, 2016, 12:44:59 pm You could ask him hey u want some coffee bro. Then bring him some coffe with jizz floating at the top. You hand it to him with a big ass grin he will be like umm wtf is this? You say creme.... knowing ur luck he will be like i like ur style guy and promote u to administrator assistant or someshit lol
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: June on April 11, 2016, 04:01:51 pm 45 minutes late today. I'm getting off completely. Don't think I'll get shitcanned unless I do something drastic like red said. Oh well, good try This is sounding very self-destructive. You really want to be unemployed? Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 11, 2016, 06:48:14 pm It's not. You're all missing 95% of the picture.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: June on April 12, 2016, 11:20:30 am That's a relief.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Handass on April 12, 2016, 11:46:12 am That's a relief. What he really wants is to be fired so he's forced into a male **** ring and can become the human toilet he's always wanted to be. For most, their life would be ruined. For turdie, he would die a happy, happy wh(http://)ore. Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Permanent Poopface on April 12, 2016, 11:57:27 am Start a rumor that you had sex with the boss's wife or girlfriend, it will eventually get around to him
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: OhioLawyer on April 12, 2016, 03:21:17 pm I'll just leave this here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MiNxdpWFD8 Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 12, 2016, 08:26:28 pm lol ohio. you don't even know how relevant that is. btw i also failed pretty hard to get myself fired. i failed so hard they're throwing me a party on friday. :-[
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Handass on April 12, 2016, 09:02:02 pm lol ohio. you don't even know how relevant that is. btw i also failed pretty hard to get myself fired. i failed so hard they're throwing me a party on friday. :-[ a going away party? Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 12, 2016, 09:03:28 pm Yep
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Handass on April 12, 2016, 09:46:46 pm As in you quit?
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 12, 2016, 10:14:02 pm yep. that's why i was trying to see how much i could get away with before they just flat out told me to gtfo.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: June on April 13, 2016, 06:02:38 am Congratulations!
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: BMan on April 13, 2016, 08:57:12 am Start a rumor that you had sex with the boss's wife or girlfriend, it will eventually get around to him Tell people you want to **** your boss' wife/girlfriend/partner. I like the way you think! Congrats on getting out, Turdie! Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 13, 2016, 11:52:02 am Thx guys
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Kreater on April 15, 2016, 12:19:45 am Like a prison break, "I ain't going back there!"
Congrats! Getting out of a job and corporate America was the best thing I ever did! Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 15, 2016, 10:26:09 am For sure dude. I want to leave early but they want me to give a goodbye speech lol
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: June on April 15, 2016, 11:08:26 am Now is the chance to burn bridges!
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: OhioLawyer on April 15, 2016, 11:55:36 am Once again Seinfeld provides guidance. This should be your goodbye speech:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8d9pBvtr8s Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 15, 2016, 12:50:23 pm lol unfortunately my speech didn't come out anything like that.
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Termin8or on April 15, 2016, 12:56:16 pm Glad you got our of your job LT....although I'm not sure why you did...I like this Seinfeld firing speech (it's from the employer side though):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU6m5UqLx9M (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU6m5UqLx9M) Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Laughing Turd on April 15, 2016, 01:16:33 pm lol that's retarded. never got into seinfeld but kramer always made me chuckle. And thanks Term. The details themselves are personal so I won't mention them, sorry. The situation itself isn't some huge secret I'm keeping though, which is why I posted that much.
Anyway, freedom from the Man at last. Unfortunately I didn't have as much fun with this as I wanted. Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Termin8or on April 15, 2016, 02:43:12 pm Yeah, no worries, as long as things work out the way you want them O0 Freedom from the man definitely sounds cool....as long as you are happy and self sufficient then I bet it's great! Not sure when I'll be free from the man....maybe when I'm 85
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: CitizenSoldier3 on April 15, 2016, 08:08:28 pm Yeah, no worries, as long as things work out the way you want them O0 Freedom from the man definitely sounds cool....as long as you are happy and self sufficient then I bet it's great! Not sure when I'll be free from the man....maybe when I'm 85 What man, your from canadia :P Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Termin8or on April 16, 2016, 10:24:28 am Lol the man is everywhere
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Kreater on April 16, 2016, 10:59:56 am Lol the Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: NDS IS POPPIN on April 16, 2016, 12:24:05 pm SHOW THEM A PICTURE OF MY ASS
Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Handass on April 16, 2016, 12:45:57 pm SHOW THEM A PICTURE OF MY ASS He's not trying to get rehired, NDS Title: Re: So I want to try and get fired Post by: Termin8or on April 18, 2016, 05:19:36 am Lol the :D :P |